I just saw this the other day from
Kickstarter: "
I Love Light Metal" -- the
MANAIA from a group calling itself T°Red Bikes.
What exactly is "Light Metal" -- is it like
Iron Maiden meets
Yanni?
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You know you're just dying to hear it. |
Well, no. It's aluminum. A go-fast bike made from aluminum. Only, supposedly it's really
special aluminum, from the
aerospace industry. Yeah, I know -- pretty much all the aluminum tubing used in bikes today has some history of use in the aerospace industry. Humor them.
From the
T°Red Kickstarter page:
"These light, aluminum-based alloys are enriched with rare materials such as magnesium, scandium and zirconium. . . The resistance of these alloys is typically 30-40% higher than that of Ergal and they were first used in the construction of submarine-launched missiles designed by the USSR, which were even able to penetrate polar ice layers."So if you decide you'd like to punch through polar ice with your bike, you're all set.
"High-Tech" bike startups always want to highlight the aerospace connections, but basically, it's 7000-series aluminum with some traces of scandium in the alloy mix. The traces of scandium are supposed to affect the crystalline structure of the metal during welding and presumably mean stronger welds. I got that from Wikipedia, by the way, not MANAIA.
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Speaking of welds, at least they smooth the heck out of these after welding. |
There are lots of typically puffed-up claims about the bike on the website. For example:
"The impeccably finished TIG welding and the brushed surface enhanced by an indelible Maori tattoo make MANAIA a truly unique bicycle. It has been designed to offer its best performance when pushing for the limits . . . with a lightness and rigidity comparable to the best carbon frames . . . while the innovative rear triangle and integrated seatpost ensure a truly amazing feeling. A metal creature born to ride, whose sole purpose is to make you win."As long as you were already winning on your old bike, that is. If you were a mid-pack "also ran" the MANAIA won't change that.
In any case, what we have here is a pretty typical welded aluminum racing bike, fairly short-coupled, and equipped with carbon wheels and disc brakes. Overall, not that different from most other higher-level race bikes today.
So, to distinguish it, the company makes quite a bit of the unique "maori tattoo" graphics that decorate the frame.
Act now and pledge on Kickstarter, and you'll even get a matching skinsuit:
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Matching bike and skinsuit are the apex of Fred-dom. |
I highly recommend watching the video. . .
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. . . which opens on a half-naked Fred in an empty warehouse. Cue the overly dramatic music. |
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Include lots of shots of bike and skinsuit-matching Fred zipping around the tarmac (that's lower-case "t" tarmac, so don't sue me, Specialized). |
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Make sure to include some gratuitous skids "for your thrills." |
Then make the Retrogrouch laugh out loud:
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"Life" |
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"will never be the same." |
Yes. Yes, actually, it will.
Enjoy!